It’s been a while since I’ve written an interactive communiqué, as I’ve been busy getting on Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa’s last nerve. But Wednesday’s official confirmation that former NFL quarterback Steve McNair was shot dead by his mistress, who then committed suicide, sent me running to my computer so I could crank up the dormant blog thing.
 
Yes, McNair’s murder was shocking and tragic and sad and such, but the circumstances of his death just blows me away and I can’t stop thinking about his wife. How does she deal with this? Her husband of 12 years — with whom she was living and loving and sharing property — had an apparently unbeknownst 20-year-old something on the side who killed him because he wouldn’t get a divorce and make a life with her. How does Mrs. McNair deal with this?
 
Media accounts reported she was “very distraught” over her husband’s killing. “Very distraught” is not good enough for me. It doesn’t tell me anything. I want to know how she really feels. Does she mourn and grieve her husband as if he died in an auto accident? Or is she mad as hell about the treacherous way he met his end? If her obscenely philandering murdered husband were still alive, would she want to kill him herself? Is she embarrassed by or ashamed of the circumstances of his death or does she feel betrayed and humiliated by him? Is she sad or glad he’s dead?
 
My husband of many years died and I know from personal experience that that’s a soul-wrenching thing to go through: There’s the sorrow and the grief and the condolences, plus the endless “arrangements” of everything, starting with the funeral. Being a new widow is hard. But being a new widow because your husband was killed by his crazy mistress has got to be harder.

How is Mrs. McNair supposed to act at his funeral? Is she supposed to go into the church weeping and wailing? Or should she sit stoically in the pew and strike a pissed-off pose? If it were me, I wouldn’t even go to his funeral. In fact, I doubt if I’d even have a funeral for a husband such as he.
 
I wish I could interview the widow McNair and find out what she’s really feeling. It’s got to be complicated.