Story Created:
Feb 5, 2009 at 5:12 PM PST
Story Updated:
Feb 5, 2009 at 5:12 PM PST
Dear Karen: As one of our New Year’s resolutions, my husband and I have decided to cut down on going out to restaurants for meals. We belong to a small group where twice a month we try a new restaurant. We don’t want to stop enjoying the company of our friends, but we can’t figure out how to tell them we’re trying to save and not seem like we’re in financial trouble.
We’re doing OK, but we don’t know what this year will bring so we figured it was smart to cut back. My husband thinks we will spoil everyone’s fun if we tell them we don’t want to go to expensive restaurants, and we should just say we are too busy and can’t participate. What would you do?
Dining Groupie
Dear Dining: In this day and age everyone is thinking about cutting back, and many have chosen to visit restaurants much less frequently. I hear people every day talking about taking their lunch to work and only going out to less expensive restaurants. If these are your friends, just be honest. I bet you’ll be surprised at how relieved others may be as well.
Even folks who are well off financially are changing their habits given the economic forecast. I would suggest you host the group at your home to start the year and bring up the conversation over dinner. It doesn’t have to be a fancy dinner, especially if your group is larger than your dining room table and everyone won’t be sitting together.
The group should establish whether the main purpose is to try new restaurants, or to spend time with friends. If it’s new restaurants, recommend people look for restaurants that are fun, but serve meals under $20 per person. Or, if the group is intent on the high end places, maybe they can trade off expensive and reasonable, and you say up front you will only be going to the reasonable ones.
Make it fun. Ask the group to come up with less expensive ways to get together; movie nights at someone’s home with potluck snacks and desserts can be big fun. Bowling nights? Alternate the kinds of restaurants, like try for breakfast places for weekend adventures or a treasure hunt for the best food finds under $10 per person.
Consider rotating hosting the group at your homes, with everyone bringing news about new restaurants to share. If all else fails, grownups enjoy “game nights” as much as kids — plan a series of game nights and consider planning light meals that are themed to the games or a particular ethnic food. The most important consideration is to make it fun by finding creative ways to continue to enjoy the friendship of your buddies without breaking the bank.
In case you’re wondering…
Do find ways to reach out to friends who can’t afford the same things they used to enjoy.
Don’t you dare judge someone for how they choose to spend their money.
Have a question for Karen? E-mail her at talktome@wavepublication.com.
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