Story Created:
Feb 12, 2009 at 6:58 PM PST
Story Updated:
Feb 12, 2009 at 6:58 PM PST
Dear Karen: My wife has been bugging me for the last two weeks to make a list of resolutions for the New Year. Apparently she thinks there is something wrong with me that needs fixing. She is doing the usual — resolving to lose weight, exercise more and stop cussing. I don’t need to do any of those things, and I’m not going to make a list just to make her happy. What can I do to calm her down and get her to leave me alone?
Fine As I Am
Dear Fine: I think you need to stop and think about what your wife is trying to say to you. She may simply need your support as she tries to achieve her goals, or she may actually think that you could use a lifestyle change, even if it’s not to lose weight or begin an exercise routine like everyone else. All of us, even those who are “fine as I am” can use this time to re-evaluate where we are in life, and what steps we need to take to make our quality of life even better.
It’s not about making a list or starting something on a symbolic day like Jan. 1. Resolving to make lifestyle changes can happen on Jan. 8, Jan. 20, May 8, June 1, or even your birthday or anniversary.
The point she is probably trying to make is this is a time to take a look at where you are and where you want to be. Resolutions can, and should, be positive steps toward a better life. For you that could mean being more attentive to your wife and her attempt at improving her health, getting regular physical checkups, reading more often, learning a new skill or adopting a new hobby. It may mean picking up the phone to reach out to friends and family you never have time to speak with or visit. Take a moment to dig deep and find something that you want to embrace this year, and just go for it.
Dear Karen: I live alone and have been feeling the economic crunch. A number of my friends have lost their jobs, and I’m afraid they may start laying off people at my firm. I work in a department that usually orders food in or goes out to lunch every day. I know if I begin taking my lunch it will help both my pocketbook and my waistline, but I’m afraid I’ll be perceived as not being a “team player” and considered an outsider. I haven’t worked here as long as everyone else and I don’t want to be left out or perceived as a party pooper, especially when they start making decisions about layoffs. How can I be stay friends with everyone and still bring my lunch to save money?
Frugal Lunchmate
Dear Frugal: You sound like you are the only one who is feeling the economic crunch. There is a good possibility that some of your co-workers are experiencing the same anxiety and don’t want to admit it. Pull the co-worker you are closest to aside and tell them your plan if you are afraid to approach the group as a whole. Definitely don’t just drop out without explanation. Suggest you start a new tradition of brown bag days or potlucks and only eat out once a month, perhaps on the last Friday of every month or payday.
You shouldn’t suffer or feel out of place just because you don’t want to spend your hard earned money on take-out or restaurants. Just explain it’s part of your personal “economic stimulus” plan and you are hoping they will still welcome you at the lunch table. Times are tough, and your health, whether physical or financial, needs to take a front seat in your life.
In case you’re wondering…
Do resolve to make lifestyle changes as needed.
Don’t you dare sabotage anyone’s attempt to keep their resolutions.
Have a question for Karen? E-mail her at talktome@wavepublication.com.
RSS Feeds 
