Story Created:
Feb 12, 2009 at 7:06 PM PST
Story Updated:
Feb 12, 2009 at 7:06 PM PST
Dear Karen: I bought tickets to the theater for my boyfriend and his family to join me for the play that’s currently running at the Nate Holden Theater. I was expecting it to be a lovely evening out and we’d all dress up and go to dinner before the play. I spent a lot of money on the tickets and thought it would be a nice way to celebrate my boyfriend’s birthday. I bought a new dress and everything.
Well, when he came to pick me up, he looked like we were going grocery shopping on a Saturday morning rather than to see a stage play. He said no one in his family dressed up because it was just a neighborhood theater and it wasn’t like they were good tickets for downtown at the Music Center. My feelings were hurt and I didn’t know if I should change clothes to dress down or wear the outfit I’d planned.
I wore the outfit and his mom and sister just laughed at me and asked what I thought the big deal was. They don’t know how much the tickets cost, but it was a big deal to me. Was I just over the top and neighborhood theater is something less than downtown?
Stage Left
Dear Stage: I was fortunate enough to attend the inaugural opening of the Ebony Repertory Theatre at the Nate Holden Performing Arts Center last week. It’s funny; I looked around and wondered why some people looked like just woke up from a nap while others were dressed up.
I think it’s important that we understand and appreciate stage productions and theater for what they are and what they represent in our community. As a city, Los Angeles is fortunate to have an African-American theater company in the new Ebony Repertory Theatre. While they are the resident company of the Nate Holden Center, they are in no way any less accomplished, or bring anything less to the stage, than the “downtown” productions.
Community theater opens doors for people who otherwise would be unable to attend such performances, and opens the eyes of theatergoers who often dismiss smaller companies. Like most cultural events these days, I think people dress down, often in an inappropriate fashion. For children, this is yet another learning tool to understand and incorporate into their lives.
Opening night at a community theater, especially if you are an invited guest, should hold the same standards for attire as the “downtown” theaters. This doesn’t mean black tie, it does mean dressed up. As for regular performances, I’m not saying you can’t wear jeans, I’m saying make sure they are pressed and you have on a nice shirt and sweater or jacket. This is not a time or place for “just from the gym sweats” or shorts and flip-flops.
Dress appropriately, show the cast respect, including turning off your cell phone and refraining from talking. And most of all, support community and neighborhood theater. The prices are usually less than the “downtown” theaters and it’s an opportunity to introduce children and others to the world of stage productions. You were right to dress up, you should be applauded for wanting to host your boyfriend’s family for such a special evening, and you have nothing to apologize for.
Next time, gently mention to your boyfriend and his family that it’s a dress up evening of celebration. In all fairness, they probably thought they did nothing wrong. It’s important to give people the tools to feel comfortable in any situation, and that includes a mention of attire when appropriate. Here’s hoping they enjoyed the production and will be regular theatergoers.
In case you’re wondering…
Do invite friends and family to share the theater experience with you.
Don’t you dare go dressed to the theater like you’re going to the gym.
Have a question for Karen? E-mail her at talktome@wavepublication.com.
RSS Feeds 
