Mother’s Day is a wonderful time to reflect, remember, appreciate and celebrate all the moms in our lives. Mothers come in a myriad of sizes and shapes and they range in age from teens to those who have passed the century mark.

Most are birth mothers, but many come disguised as aunts, godmothers, stepmothers, big sisters, wise next-door neighbors, mentors or simply those who work tirelessly to improve the lives of children. Take time to acknowledge the “mothers” in your life while they are here to appreciate your efforts.

Mothers know you love them, but never take them for granted. Whether you take a few minutes, or a few days to honor your mom, don’t let the day pass without letting her know you care.

Dear Karen: Usually my brothers and I take our mom out to a fancy restaurant on Mother’s Day but this year we just can’t afford it. We also usually buy her a piece of jewelry as a family gift. No chance of either of those this year, we are all struggling financially. Any ideas of something we can do as a family to keep our tradition alive?
One of the Kids

Dear One Of: While your previous celebrations sound lovely, you can’t possibly think a fancy restaurant and jewelry are what made your mom happy. What makes family celebrations special is spending time together. You can make this year the best ever, with a little effort and creativity.

Chances are one of you has a video camera or have access to one you can borrow. Make a video for your mom with each of you telling a favorite childhood story, and one of the lessons you’ve learned from her that has made you the person you are today. Believe me, she’ll treasure the video and watch it over and over in the years to come.

As for the restaurant, make your own family restaurant. Plan her favorite menu and organize a potluck. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but it does have to be fun. Send your mom an invitation that invites her to “Chez Kids” at one of your homes. It doesn’t matter if you set the table with paper plates, just take the time to make it a thoughtful afternoon.

You can have your own brunch buffet, or a backyard barbecue. You can dress up or dress down, just make sure everyone is on the same page. If there are grandchildren or other young children in the family, they might make placemats for the special day with their drawings or photographs, including special messages to the queen for the day.

We all know how expensive flowers are this time of year, so be creative with your table decorations. If you have family photos from the “old days,” use them to make centerpieces. You can even photocopy old photos of your family members and use them as place cards, or glue them to plastic glasses to entertain people as they drink. The possibilities are endless. It’s always so easy when we have money to spare. But, you can make this low-budget day the most memorable ever for your mom and the entire family.

Dear Karen: Every year I’m torn between spending time with my mom and my stepmom on Mother’s Day. I’m my mom’s only child, but I have sisters with my stepmom and they plan a big deal. It seems someone is always disappointed and I end up miserable all day worrying about who will be upset with me.

Even though my parents have been divorced more than 15 years, don’t even think about suggesting we celebrate together — it’s not going to happen! Any ideas on how to handle this?
Desperate Daughter

Dear Desperate: I don’t know who decided there was only one day of the year when we could celebrate the Mom’s in our lives. If it must be on one day, then get together with your sisters and plan one in the early part of the day, and one for dinner. They should be considerate of your situation. If your moms don’t live in the same city, and you travel to spend time with one of them, then simply alternate if you feel you must divide your time equally.

This might be the time to realize that spending time with the moms in your life is a day-to-day, yearlong activity. Designate a day each month to go to lunch, a movie, or just a walk together. It’s not about the Hallmark day, it’s about your showing your moms how much you appreciate them.

In case you’re wondering…
Do remember all the “moms” in your life
Don’t you dare think it’s about the amount of money you spend on mom.
Have a question for Karen? E-mail her at talktome@wavepublication.com.