Dear Karen: My husband and I recently attended a concert at the Nokia Theater and our night was nearly ruined by the rude people sitting next to us. They arrived late, insisted on switching seats between the two of them at least four times, and they talked on their cell phones.

To top it off, the wife got up six — count them, six — times, to do who knows what. I don’t know if she was going to the concession stand, the restroom, or to visit with someone else. Whatever the case, the entire row was subjected to getting up and down all night long during the performance. Is it too much to ask for people to show some respect when they attend concerts?

Stepped On

Dear Stepped On: It’s never too much to ask for others to show respect, in all environments. I’d say give her the benefit of the doubt and think that maybe she had a medical condition that required her constant bouncing up and down, but I doubt it. We’re all a bit careful not to overly antagonize others who may not respond well, but if you make a simple request, perhaps it will be heeded.

I think you certainly have a right to ask people to curb their cell phone use during a performance. And, after your seatmate gets up a couple of times, perhaps you could ask that they wait for intermission to get up again. If they have a legitimate reason for the excessive trips, then that would be the time for them to share that information with you. If not, maybe you need to not stand up to let them pass so easily and they will get the message.

There’s a fine line between overreacting to a bad situation and allowing someone else’s bad behavior to ruin your evening. Assess the situation and stand your ground with the same respect you’d hope others would show you.

Dear Karen: A few months ago we put a pool in for our family to enjoy. We hosted a pool party to break it in and invited a number of our neighbors in addition to our extended family. All summer we’ve had people call and ask if they could come over to swim. I don’t mind, but sometimes I just want an afternoon with my immediate family.

I’d been holding my tongue until last week when I realized one of my neighbors was calling to drop off her children, allegedly to play with my kids, but really she just wanted a babysitter. My mom was visiting and I felt comfortable leaving my children in her care and run some errands, but I didn’t feel like I could stick her with another two children to watch so I stayed home. The neighbor was due to pick up her kids at 3 p.m., but didn’t show up until 6. The kids asked if they could come back the next day and the mother said, “I’m sure they won’t mind!” How do I tell her it’s not acceptable without looking like the bad guy to the children?

Wet and Worn Out

Dear Wet: New pools, or any new play thing, always generate a great deal of interest from family and friends. In order to save your sanity, and prevent further damaging any of your relationships, I’d set some ground rules now. Be specific about your list of rules. Set aside days of the week when guests are welcome and others that are family only.

It may be a day or two a month, not every week. You can always add days and invite guests, but these are the basics. And be clear on other guidelines. For example, children cannot use the pool without one of their parents on hand to supervise. People are expected to bring their own towels, and perhaps you’ll set hours for use. Give it some thought, and make the list.

In case you’re wondering…

Do arrive on time to live performances and show respect to your seatmates.

Don’t you dare drop off your children and expect someone else to protect their safety.

Have a question for Karen? E-mail her at talktome@wavepublication.com.